Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
