I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
