New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
