i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
