That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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