did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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