I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
