I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Who did Billy Mays play for?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
