Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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