sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
