I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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