? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
