Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
