its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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