i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
