Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
