Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize