I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize