If that was your dad, he is hot
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
