he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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