Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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