i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
