Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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