Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
