it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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