Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
