i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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