we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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