The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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