Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize