she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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