I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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