We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It was confusing and full of hummus
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
