PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize