my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
