You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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