32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
