I must be too annoying 4 u.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize