She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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