she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
