I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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