My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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