Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
