Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
