I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were destined to go to rehab together
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
