Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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