Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
