I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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