Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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