I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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