Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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