My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
