If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
