can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
