how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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