So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
whose parrot is this?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
