I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
