I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
