i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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